Names We Call Ourselves
by Thekuroshitsujilover
Summary: 'M and N are just letters. Mihael is forgotten and Nate is broken long ago. Mello is dead. Near was never a genius. You see, in the end, all that's left is you and I.' - MelloxNear Matt Mello friendship, a Matt hates L but eventual MattxL


**Author's Note: Hello! It's been a long time since I last published -,- Still busy with a lot of life stuff and finishing Charades and His Master, Acting skills...yea...so this is a oneshot that has been going in my mind and I just need to let it out... Lovin' MxN pleasure and fluff :3 Hope you enjoy the drama!**

**I do not own Death Note, a cute albino-sheep and a chocolate leather badass.**

I.

~Mello and Near~

It is a damn hot day in Whammy's when the intercom produced a highly annoying sound. A familiar rough voice then echoed from the speakers through around the hallway.

"Attention, everyone. Prepare for the arrival of L and a new member. Gather at the front gate at exactly three o'clock p.m."

Children rejoiced, and a loud feminine squeal was prominently heard, which I assumed must be that bratty Linda again. I cursed inwardly, irritation and stress overcoming me when the thought that my predecessor will be coming right after an hour, for he was never late. I smiled at the realization, and I hurriedly ran back to the room I shared with this red head guy, whom I don't really know much about him except for playing way too much video games straight for days, and Roger just set us up as roomies.

I opened a smaller scale closet and dug beneath a pile of clothing. It is not like I have any other option when all I wear is all black from head to toe. But still, it is a rare and special day, happens mostly once a month, and this deserves some preparation.

I ran my fingers through my silky, golden locks, and smiled at the mirror as practice for some pleasing purposes. I then took one last glance, and made my way to the doorstep, as excitement surges in my veins, until this human decided to open his big mouth.

"What's with all the hurry?"

"You are either acting dumb of what is going on, or maybe you have just a couple of ear defectives. Tell me which one so I can go tell Roger."

"Woah. Chill. I'm asking what all you kids are making a fuss about." The clicking noises from the buttons stopped, and a pair of green eyes covered with sepia tinted goggles stared back at him in pure wonder.

"Making a fuss about? Christ, how did you get into Whammy's when your brain is that wrecked? L is coming, dimwit. L."

"Oh. I see." He lowered his head and resumed his game. The violent sounds of guns reiterated in the messed room just like a while ago, and silence overtook them.

That turned on Mello's invisible switch.

"' Oh. I see. I see. That is all your'e gonna say, you fucker? Don't you have some respect, even a tiny bit of happiness that the person who brought you here for a better god damned life is coming?! You must have been DEAD by now if he didn't carry you in this place!"

Mello sensed like he was sinking, and the gravity pulling him felt stronger. His palms clenched into a tight fist and his face turned into a deep tomato red due to a sudden burst of anger. Matt flinched at the words that came out from the dirty mouth, leaving his player to lose and stared back in shock, but some emotions that the blue eyed blonde tried looking for wasn't present. Sadness then suddenly glazed pale emerald eyes for a moment, when he averted his eyes from the raging four year old.

"I should've been in a better place with my parents now if he didn't come…"

The agony-coated statement calmed the blonde. His face looked closer to the gamer, and tried to make out the expression he was wearing. The blonde boy sighed, and a wave of loneliness hit him in remembering the night he witnessed his parent's lives getting slowly drained out of their bodies. He shrugged and tried to block the memory, but did not work. All of them have hideous pasts that no one dared to share. Even the trust of the longest friendship was never a factor.

Everyone has their own broken childhood memory…

And L is their chance to change their present and plan their future.

"L brought us here because he knows that we can do things with the most of our potential if we are to be under his wing. He knows that every child needs another chance to be happy and deserves a life. He is God's instrument to show us nothing is yet too late." Mello clenched a worn out beaded rosary closer to his chest, as he held on to it like it was a matter of life and death. His family was very religious, and his parents had luckily taught him good faithful values and practices before they died, that had just shaped how he thinks and how he interprets things.

'God is the only solace you can run to.'

It is deeply engraved in his immature heart.

"You mean tools to save this world someday."

He whispered almost inaudibly, his voice still hoarse and tear stained.

The older genius was dragged out of his moment, and faced the reality of this situation. He had given up in showing the weird gamer what is important now in this chase. He rolled his eyes to the still sulking stripe-obsessed boy, and exited the room in the most inhumanly way to catch up on his first priority.

The brunette then turned his head to a now empty room, tears streaming down his cheeks, and his fist grabbed something he had hidden under his pillow ever since he went here, and secretly talked to it when he had nightmares.

"Mommy….daddy…I don't want it here. They all want to be the best for that guy. They even changed my name for my future. I don't wanna be like them…I just wanna be Mail." He gripped the smithy teddy bear tighter towards his lithe body as if to make him feel secure, and snuggled close to it until he drowned into a dreamless night.

"I hate that L"

* * *

Sweat beaded on my tan skin, as I took a break to suck in a lungful of oxygen. Pants escaped my mouth as I ran on the front bronzed gate, where a black luxurious car started to pull over. All the Whammy kids crowded around me with bright smiles plastered on their faces. They didn't get to close though, because they know I have the right of having a way closer vicinity to the greatest detective , that has never failed to boost my confidence and satisfy my pride.

I am number one after all.

* * *

The man who saved me from my torturous life style I am approximately with for seven hours and thirty minutes smiled at me. My tired eyes were almost drooping when he softly caressed my stinging cheek that made me involuntarily flinch.

"We are here, the place I promised you about."

I took a hesitant glance outside the tinted window, and saw a big number of children the same as my age waving and smiling like their jaws are going to get ripped off. I also saw a certain blonde boy, who I recognized must be a year older than me staring with a glint in his azure eyes and a smirk of ego on his lips.

I shivered when L , whose name I know is hidden for purposes, gently grabbed my palm and encouraged me it will be alright.

"Everything will be alright in just a matter of time. And also, don't let anyone know your real name. You will now be addressed as Near."

My eyes were void of emotion, but I can feel my heart pumping in a ridiculously fast pace in my rib cage. I quickly enveloped my arms at the dirtied bunny resting on my lap, and nodded as agreement.

The man smiled at me again and opened the door, exposing me to everyone in the orphanage. My eyes narrowed at the sudden bright light, and shivers travelled down to my spine when the warm breeze touched my reddish skin. He carried my slender body, and I fisted on his white baggy shirt. He made his way forward to cheering children, and particularly close to the familiar blonde.

The crowd's noise decreased as they stared at me in awe, most likely wondering how too much white run through my DNA. White hair matched with pearl satin skin, and unusual large obsidian eyes.

Nervousness seeped in with too much attention concentrated on me. Heard whispers and soft giggles as the man who is obviously deprived from sleep spoke in a low but relaxing tone.

"It is nice to see you again, everyone. Today, you must see, is an extra special day because I brought a new member for our family."

Family…

Will their touches be the same as mommy and daddy?

Or maybe it is the touch that felt like it's from the Heavens?

I turned my head against the crowd and buried my head at the nape of this stranger's neck, which is very unlike me.

It is as if like I'm already showing emotions.

Like fear.

"Nice to see you again, L"

A masculine voice replied. Near assumed the owner of the voice was just a kid, for a childish little tone was still mixed into it no matter how serious but mischievous the way the words slipped out of his mouth.

A silent tug of my satin pajamas then took my attention and look downwards. A hand held into it firmly, as my pitch black orbs collided with ocean blue ones.

An unexpected smile shot at me with full welcoming warmth that showed me the purest of intentions and innocence of a mere child. I can't help but give him too tiny smile of appreciation, as I felt heat rush in me particularly up my face.

His features were perfect, shining sapphire eyes contrasted milky, mocha skin, and sunlight colored strands shaped in a messy bob cut screamed charisma. We stared for a while longer as a bond started to build up by itself, and both have no idea what they're stealing from each other.

* * *

"The name's Mello."

"I'm Na-Near."

Both genius walked along the moist pathway, the grass and flowers neatly planted on its sides. Mello took a glance at Near every other second, and Near did the same. They both knew that they had just formed something important from the very start, and being away from each other has become unbearable. Mello asked L to take Near with walk with him, that left the whole common room stunned and a panda eyed detective in surprise. He sighed remembering the really most awkward moment of his life, but at least L permitted them too anyway.

Near observed the humongous garden of flowers of different variety, some he presumed was a native in Southern Egypt and one twelfths of it can be found somewhere in a cave located in Afghanistan.

Mostly are the rarest of kinds, which made him wonder the need of having so much of it.

"The plants are very rare and beautiful, much to my amusement." Mello blinked at the very formal and genuine sentence. The words were said expertly in English, but the blonde can tell even in his albinism that his features are not of England or America.

"We use it for the studies of social science from different states down to its cities. We observe and appreciate the uniqueness of their civilization, and to solve hidden connections of history in one culture to another." Mello leveled the construction of his statement to Near's, and it was Near's turn to blink next.

"Studying social science, I understand. But based on my observations from basis to basis, I can say that each of the pots aligned in that side are from different states. I can assume that every plant here represents at least one state. Technically saying, all ordinary looking weeds and flowers here are actually flowers from every the_ different corner of_ _world_. It is like you're saying that studying all different cultures around the world is required in this orphanage? And taught to four year olds?"

Near's jaw slightly dropped, he was sure his assumptions were right. Mello froze in his spot and his eyes widened as big as plates in Near's genius and exact accusation and outrageously fast thinking that even he can't figure that fast.

He learned that L dragged a very special kid here.

Mello removed himself from his trance and regained his composure. It is his obligation as the first to see if this kid is worth receiving Whammy's full knowledge and privileges.

"Yes. But, how did you know that every pot here represented a state? It means that you know what kind of flowers are around here to even recognize their origin. Is this taught, or is this stock knowledge?"

"Stock knowledge."

"And you remember _everything_?"

"Yes. When I see or read about something, It is like printed in my mind permanently."

"Then, you know what all these flowers are called?"

"Yes."

"Then, tell me the rarest flower and tell me its given name in a scientific term"

Near was doubtingly surprised at the sudden challenge, but chose to accept. It is also just to boost his ego, and show Mello his capabilities.

Dark pupils travelled, not even sparing an inch. He walked in different parts of the garden, observing as Mello noticed his habit of twirling his hair. The older of the two sat on a bench, smirking at the thought that his friend looked like a lost sheep. His eyes darted to a certain flower – a single one – that is planted beneath the other tall flowers. It is the rarest, and it might take a long time for Near to find it because you can mistake it from a mere rose. It is the rarest and most expensive, exclusively leaving in only Britain and possibly China, and so no flower enthusiasts will bang at their door to even take a glimpse at the rarest flower in the whole world, they have only gotten a single one this year for the their generation to witness once in a lifetime.

The Middlemist Camelia.

The flower is quite camouflaging along the other colorful and attracting flowers around it. But it seems like Near's attention was taken by the group of rare orchids and roses to stare at if for a moment, before leaving it in vain.

Azure eyes glimmered at the mistake, and his grin wider than before. Another flower attracted the young albino's attention, then turned to the blonde and point at it.

"This one. Ghost Orchid Epipogium Aphyllum."

_Wrong._

That's the second rarest.

"Too bad but it is a no, Near. You are incorrect. The correct answer is…"

Mello made his way to the colorful bushes and spread them apart. A single pinkish flower stood up in its tranquil stem, and Mello rubbed it in Near's face that he guessed the wrong flower.

"I saw that, the Middlemist Camelia, Mello. But this one is the rarest."

His brows furrowed, and his arms crossed on his chest. He tilted his head a little in wonder, that urged Near to continue.

"In any encyclopedia, it will state that it is the rarest. But no. It is correct it can only be found in one garden in New Zealand and a greenhouse in Britain, but that doesn't make it the rarest. The rarest means having the most absence in the human's eyes, and because it is in New Zealand and in Britain, any tourist can go see it, many knows its existence. This over here…" Near pointed at a very short and tiny flower with orchid characteristics, that is close to impossible to see without enough will.

"I know for sure that L, being the greatest detective, has bribed a scientist from its years of research, to dig it down to the farthest places on Earth to find this. It is known to be extinct, but soon popped up somewhere in the soil. But because it has no process of photosynthesis and leaves to create food, making it depend on the nourishment of a fungus, makes it rare to survive. It can live for years under the Earth, without even anyone realizing it, and will only bloom if all conditions are optimum. So, researchers take years to just take a look at this flower, and some even never even after spending a whole lifetime. So, based on my analytics, the Middlemist Camelia can grow a bunch, because it also undergoes photosynthesis. But the Ghost Orchid, if given a chance, can grow only one, and not all people can witness it blooming. So, I conclude it is the rarest flower because generations even die without them knowing such flower exists, to be kept hidden from everyone's eyes, and doesn't even know it exists and the possibility of not finding it is a hundred and one percent high...Isn't this how you define rarest?"

Mello was utterly dumfounded, and Near shot a mocking smile. In his whole life, no one has ever proved him wrong. But instead of getting mad, he was amused. His burning rage toned down, and his signature devilish grin formed in his face.

He liked this Near. But there are also things that can hinder their friendship, besides Mello's tendency of being overly jealous and wild, and Near's too insensitive ways. But no matter what, he wants to be close to this person. Even if its foundation is now hatred of crushed hopes….

Even if as a_ rival._

* * *

The results of their first semester test were posted early. The young blonde hurriedly brushed his teeth and changed to make him look presentable, excited to see his name at the first rank again. Matt is still soundly asleep, not even minding if Mello notices the teddy bear he hugged so tightly like a little kid.

It is not like they aren't.

The temperamental boy rushed downstairs, and bumped to some morning people and a few grunts echoed in the wide hall. The results caught his eyes at the center, as he desperately stared at the ranks. He found Matt's name sitting on the third rank….and of course on this first rank is…

Near.

Shit.

He should've figured.

This awakened the sleeping demon inside Mello, as his whole being started to radiate heat and his eyes prickled with held back tears. His heart thumped loudly, as he began to carve for blood and cracking bones as breakfast.

He fisted the wall, making his knuckles bleed. Some kids gasped at the reflex and some felt like they were dreaming when they saw the results.

And a freaking out Mello.

He is_ second_.

He shouted his lungs out, and cries ringed in his ears. Footsteps padded on wooden stairs as a familiar auburn haired boy appeared at the scene.

Matt couldn't control himself to gasp at the transformation a four year old can possibly have,

And a monster that tended to the past now lived in the present.

He ran towards his acquaintance, and did his best to calm him down. Tapping at the back like what his mother did when he cries did not work, and so he just wrapped his arms at the young blonde.

The blonde seemed to calm down and his breathing resumed in its regular pattern, then hugged the redhead back. Furious tears rolled down, wetting both of their shirts, and muffled cries echoed. Matt hugged him still, that comforted Mello's aching heart, and pulled him back from the edge of sanity.

"What are you looking at?! Go back to your rooms, shitheads!" He scowled and glared daggers at the crowd. He heard whimpers and all of them excused themselves except for one, petite boy.

Matt stared at him with fires gleaming in his pair of eyes, but the albino did not move an inch nor showed any sense of fear. He just twirled the same lock of hair, and Matt just decided to ignore him and concentered his attention on the poor, shaking blonde.

Matt swore that he saw a single tear that strolled down Near's cheek in his peripheral vision, but convinced himself it was just an illusion from too much stress happening.

Near already predicted that something they just built will be _broken_.

**Author's note: Yup….this is kind of drama. Wait for the next chapter guys and sorry for the nosebleed explanation Near said over there xD**


End file.
